How to Build Her Confidence and Esteem
- Reassure her – Make it a point to reassure your spouse about her concerns. As much as they may not realize it because of lack of confidence insist on letting them now that they are warriors having gone through pregnancy and childbirth and that I will take time for their bodies to get to what they desire.
- Offer affection – Offer affection and physical comfort such as hugs and holding hands. These will ease her concerns that you may not like her postpartum body. This will eventually boost her confidence.
- Encourage openness – Encourage your spouse to be honest with you on exactly how she feels about her body. Listen without judgment as talking it out is therapeutic in itself. Reassure her on any distorted views that she may have about herself.
- Exercise together – This is a good way of bonding and increasing confidence in your spouse’s body. Encourage her to consider it after her recovery, if she is up to it. She is bound to feel great and appreciated afterwards.
- Have frequent sex – This is by far the ultimate way to reassure your spouse that she is still attractive to you. Patiently allow her as much time as she needs and when ready, let her know how much she means to you.
Giving Her Confidence when Sex Resumes
When the doctor clears her to resume sex, it is understandable that your spouse may have some fears especially concerning her body. Here’s how to go about it;
- Make her feel desirable – Be affectionate to your spouse. Hug her more, kiss her passionately. These acts of wanting her slowly build her confidence and self-esteem. Making her feel desirable will assure her that you still find her attractive.
- Moral support – Be attentive and ask your spouse exactly what she needs. Helping her around the house and with the baby will assure her that you are compassionate about her situation. This level of moral support increases bonding and more enjoyable sex.
- Communicate – Be in touch with your spouse’s body and encourage her to be open about how she feels about the resuming sex. Talk about it after and freely speak about what felt different. This will encourage her to get more confidence in her new body.
- Understand – Be understanding when your partner isn’t particularly in the mood for sex. Breastfeeding places a huge demand on a new mom’s body and is often fatigued. Understanding and reassuring her will help with any confidence and esteem issues.
It is important to also get as much knowledge on your spouse’s postpartum body, read widely and approach her from a position of knowledge.
Please note that development differs from one child to another. Content intended for educational purposes only, and not a substitute for medical advice from your doctor.
Be careful when using any products mentioned on this website. We hold no regulations for such products or their providers.
Last reviewed April 2019